Thursday, October 11, 2007

Forget About Jordan

You know that post from several weeks ago about me getting to go to Jordan? Well, scratch that. It's not going to happen. Yesterday, just before I left for Charleston, they drop the bomb on me that there are too many people going to Jordan, so I got bumped off the mission. I don't know why I was surprised. I had said from the beginning that I wouldn't actually believe I was going until I actually got on the plane.

But the "good news" was that instead of Jordan, I'd be going to Morocco. Normally that would be great...that's another place I've always wanted to go...but in this particular situation it just wasn't that great of news. The mission to Jordan seemed like all the stars were aligning. Rob's ship was scheduled to be in the region, and I was pretty sure that when the mission was over I would be able to meet up with him somewhere (we thought we knew where, but I can't say on here). It was perfect because it would be a short flight and relatively inexpensive. It would have been for just about three days, but it seemed like the perfect situation.

Well, Morocco is nowhere near the Middle East. It costs as much to get to the Middle East from there as it does from the US. And it's not easy routing...9-15 hours. Again, it's almost like leaving from Norfolk! So, now I'm faced with a difficult and expensive trip to see him after the mission, and the sad thing is...he's not even 100% sure that he'll be there! Truthfully, he's barely 50% sure. I was willing to take that chance before because it seemed like the best situation for BOTH OpSmile and me. For me, it was affordable and easy to get to Rob (or where he should be!), and OpSmile benefitted by me only taking 3 vacation days. This wasn't the IDEAL situation for seeing Rob, as it is scheduled to be a short port visit and in a rather boring location, but I thought it was the most logical situation for everyone involved.

But now I don't think I want to spend $1100 to go to this particular location when there is a very good chance he won't even be there. So I proposed taking 5 vacation days near the end of this month to visit him somewhere else, but apparently that would be too much time away from work. I can't do both. As much as it breaks my heart, I'm passing on the opportunity to go to Morocco so I can instead visit Rob. It's hard to imagine that taking 2 extra vacation days would be that big of a deal, but I guess it is. In the end, though, this will work out better. Rob is about 90% certain that the port visit this month will go as planned (again, I can't say where), and he'll be there longer, so we'll get to spend more time together. This is probably the only time I'll get to visit him before he comes home, so of course that's going to be my priority. He and I are not only husband and wife, we're best friends...and this separation is killing both of us.

They say they will work toward getting me on a mission in the spring sometime, but I won't hold my breath. I knew better than to get excited about my supposed trip to Jordan, but I had actually started to believe it would happen. I had even gone and gotten my stupid vaccinations for the trip (six painful shots!!). I had my Jordan book all ready to go and had done research on the country and its customs...I'm so stupid. And I had REALLY looked forward to the opportunity to finally see WHAT it is that I'm working for everyday. I'm stuck in front of a computer in Norfolk, VA day in and day out. Sometimes it's hard to remember what that ultimate goal is...to make a difference in a child's life somewhere on the other side of the globe. I couldn't wait to see the end result right in front of me...a living and breathing reminder of why I go to work everyday. But I guess that will have to wait and I'll have to keep relying on blind faith that I'm making a difference in some small way.

1 comment:

Roseanne said...

Keep up the good work.